#im actually the MOST proud of Alexis

[pdriesta]

man this game i am still on cloud 9 unfortunately thats got to stop because i have school tmrw and physics hw rn but omfg like that happened 5-2!!!!!!! I was alr screaming the other game vs bilbao with gavi, lamine goal and balde, gavi assist like all my favs and now rapha x2, lewa, lamine (fr baby goat), BALDEEEEEE LIKE i was watching a stream of it and ngl it was pretty laggy so i was a solid 1 min behind but someone commented and was like no joke 4 min ahead idk how but they said balde goal and i was like no way no way and when i saw it i actually teared up like no one could ever make me doubt him like fr i saw this stat https://x.com/DataMB_/status/1877313263710491042/photo/3 my goat LB... theres nobody like him even tho he gets basically 0 credit stats don't lie.. man when mbappe scored the fifth min i had about 10 heart attacks like i got so scared esp cuz the first two chances or so rapha/lamine were missed/saved and they had one chance -> one goal so i was stressing and then lamine scored and i was like oh chill im chilling then the pen for that tackle? on gavi and i was like great we up lewa almost never misses a pen and then rapha header with great assist from kounde like that was magic but BALDEEEEEEE MI AMOR i love him so much he scored like icing on top fr... araujo coming in and playing well well now ig he really can't leave since inigo is out for 5 weeks but him and cuba play pretty well together so thats good ngl was a lil scared but we had the gap so i wasn't stressing too much but then GK red was crazy and honestly if that was pena i don't think that wouldve happened since hes alot fast but oh well it worked out and honestly mbappe being unable to score on pena of all GKs is the funniest thing ever like that last pena save near the end was actually good and then balde and cuba hug him like fr family fc... and that picture by pedris brother with pedri and gavi yeah they really are family fc...

also the la masia pic actually made me tear up: https://www.tumblr.com/alexi-01/772512741900582912/la-masia?source=share. like they have dreamed of winning with barca since they were kids and they finally did it.. and its the first trophy for most of them except balde, gavi, ansu, eric and pena? like omfg i love la masia and like 6 or 7 (like 8 if u count pedri who to me is an. honorary la masia member) outta 11 are regular starters for the best club in the world... la masia on top forever

like i could talk about this day for another 50 days but visco el barca siempre i will not doubt them again the children always win

i hope the supercopa win puts confidence back in our team. there been so many reports about the state the club and locker room and all of that scrutiny make this even better. it brought so much of my job back seeing how the club has changed where the young players like pedri, gavi and balde are experienced to get more trophies at the club and younger players like lamine, casado and cuba can get their first trophies. it definitely made me emotional too so much has been going on i am happy we won in the best way 😭

i could talk about balde and his performance for ages. i am so proud of him as a la masia boy and the player he has become. scoring in an el clasico when no one expects it from you is huge. now i may be bias but easily one of the best LBs in the world and he plays for MY club

araujo stepped up despite the recent rumors and i really how he reconsidered. if his importance in the club was ever in doubt, yesterday was proof that we need him

now onto the league.

[mercs4art]

my OCs have icons :3c 

finally lol 

[danieljradcliffe]

Rules: answer the questions and then tag 10+ other creators to answer the questions!

thank you to @danslevy, @neve-campbells, @loveswitch, @rhodee, @bicarols for tagging me!

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: first and most recent

one of your favorite creations from 2020: this one i made for @qilliananderson​

a creation you’re really proud of:  this one i made for @maxbegone

a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: I started doing blending and clipping masks! both seen in this set i made for @draconisxmalfoy who literally taUGHT me clipping masks so tysm leah <3

your favorite coloring: this one because the webisode is so YELLOW so i had fun making it actually look good and bringing out the blues and greens!

a creation that took you forever: the A-Z of Patrick and David

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this alexis one but that’s only because of @lulabo‘s tags that @imlorelai added!

a creation you think deserved more notes: this twylexis set

a creation with a favorite scene/quote: this set that quotes dan levy 

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: normal people! and i made this set of the brilliant paul mescal

a creation you made that breaks your heart: this jamie/claire setttt

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: this outlander set

a creation that was inspired by another one (add both your creation and the one that inspired it!): this annie murphy set which was inspired by this catherine o’hara set by @blairwitchz

a favorite creation created by someone else: this one by @amandaseyfried; this one by @draconisxmalfoy; and this one by @swearphil

some of your favorite content creators from the year: @draconisxmalfoy @beccs @chonis @nessa007 @timothyolyphant @danlevys @high-seas-swan @fishyspots @jemscorner @ratchet @maxbegone @qilliananderson @amandaseyfried @loveswitch @natromanoffe, @steviebuds, @lolamartinez, @danslevy

a for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: 1 2 3 4 5 6 and although my icon game has come v far, im still pretty proud of the first ones i made!

okaay tagging everyone mentioned in this post :) thanks @danslevy for making this 

[cicinicole-14]

hey! could you answer 3,6, 13, and 26?

good morning! I certainly can! 

3. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? 

im going to assume that the fic is “tell the world im coming home”? so, yes actually I have two! so the first is the one yall read, in part 5, jo breaking down in the shower.  and the second is a scene in part 7 I’ll give u a teaser of: jo and Alexis have a bit of a heart to heart in a bathroom of a restaurant and it’s quite cute tbh. 

6. If you listen to music when writing, what were you listening to when writing [Fanfic Name]?

I have adhd and cannot multitask like that. I will listen to songs and then pause them to write if I do, but I did not listen to music while writing TTWICH or any of my fics LOL

13. When did you start writing fanfic? 

oh god I was 10 so that was almost 12 fucking years ago lmao we don’t talk about those. honestly any fics written before 2017 we don’t talk about. major  yikes™

26. Are titles for your stories easy to come up with? 

y’know, sometimes I really struggle with titling fics but other times they come naturally. I think my favorite fic title was “not coming home” bc of how well it went with the fic and it foreshadowed it but in a way I dont think readers were expecting. also I title my fics like very meaningful things, usually a line from the story most of the time. but ya “not coming home” is the title im most proud of bc I struggle usually with titles and I struggled with that one but im really glad with how it turned out!

thanks so much for the questions!!! 💗 

[drkcnry67]

title:  Please Don’t Make Me Do This

kink square filled: Knife Play

dark square filled: Knife Play

Heaven & Hell square filled: Demon!Dean

ship: Demon!Dean x reader

rating: 14+

tags: major character death, forced knife play, 

summery (if applicable): its a surprise….

word count (if applicable):

created for @spnkinkbingo @spndarkbingo @heavenandhellbingo 

also this is for a request brought in by @hawaiianohana15 

A/N: please dont shoot me, but cas doesnt actually stay in heaven for what goes down in this story. im sorry for what im gonna put everyone through. i know for me ive put off writing about this particular thing cause it still gives me nightmares. 

tag: @sweetness47 @alexis-m-kruger​

this was possibly the hardest event of your entire life, the hardest day of your life. the day you witnessed the love of your life get murdered on the eve after your engagement. 

you hadnt the heart to send every single person you had invited a letter saying the wedding was cancelled, hell you didnt have the heart o do anything except sit in your old room and listen to all of Dean’s favorites on repeat. 

after about 4 hours Sam had gotten very very concerned, so he made you some coffee and made you up a plate of food and brought it into your room. the sight he saw when he walked inside was something that made him place the food and drink on your dresser and come engulf you in a huge hug. 

course Dean and Sam wanted to take down Metatron, but of course that didnt go as well as expected for it was then that Metatron stabbed Dean. long story short told to you personally through Sam’s sobs… 

Dean had gotten hold of the first blade again after being bruised and beaten badly in a mortal kombat fight type deal with Metatron.

Metatron stabbing Dean through the heart with an angel blade just as Sam came round the corner and Dean of course turned around. 

Sam helped Dean off the ground and tried to make it out of the warehouse but Dean coughed, said he was proud of them and then breathed his last.

Sam had called out for Cas in a loud scream of pain. about 5 minutes later Cas appeared and became terribly horrified at the sight before him. 

Cas: “what happened?”

Sam: “Metatron killed him, we have to get home.. back to the bunker, to YN she needs to know but no one else can… can you get us and the impala back in one shot or is it needed in 2 trips…”

Cas: “it can be done in 1 shot but how will you tell YN… wont she be crushed?”

that was when Cas realized that Sam was gonna tell you after they got back to the bunker… sam was gonna tell you what happened, tell you that Dean died like  hero… that he went down fighting and that his last thoughts werent of her but he knew he loved you.

Cas: “look Sam i know that YN and Dean were a thing but there is something i have to tell you… about their relationship… but she doesnt know, neither of them did… you can’t tell her…”

Sam now intrigued finds the strength to look away from his brothers corpse. Cas took a deep breath watching as Sam now sat looking at him.

Sam: “cant tell her what?”

Cas: “she and Dean fullfilled the prophecy that Heaven spoke over them, they conceived a child a week before the death of a winchester at the hands of Metatron.”

Sam: “YN’s pregnant?”

Cas: “yes, but there is nothing else that can be done here, lets take this show back to the bunker and see if there is anything that can be done about Dean… ill take us all straight to his room, then ill stay here while you go talk to YN before she finds out on her own about Dean…”

Cas teleports Dean and Sam plus himself back to Deans room in the bunker. you were in the library researching a way to get rid of Metatron that would actually be most effective. you didnt hear the boys talking in Deans room. however you only had this feeling like something wasn’t right. 

it stayed with you heavily as you sat there pouring through the books and every page seemed to make time go by alot slower than it actually was… it wasnt until you flipped the page again that you heard your name being called. this made your head snap up…

you went around the corner and Saw Sam walking towards you… 

Sam: “hey squirt!”

You looked around and didnt see Dean, didnt see your man. you turned your gaze back to Sam who walked closer to you…

YN: “where’s Dean?”

Sam: “YN he was hurt badly… there was an accident, it was a bad one… before i let you see him you need to know he might not come back from this one alive… or if alive he wont be himself… the first blade really did a number on him. but his last concious thoughts were of you… YN he wasnt breathing when Cas got to us… Cas is with him now trying to figure this out, but so far no luck…”

YN: “i have to see his body…”

Sam stepped immediately in front of you stopping your entry to the hallway.

YN: “get out of my way Sam… i have to see his body…”

Sam: “no cause if you go in there your not gonna be able to unsee that…”

YN: “there has to be something we can do…”

Sam: “we will find a way but for now lets leave him alone…”

you went back too the library and cracked a bottle of whiskey… Sam stood around the corner for a few minutes and watched you slowly crumble apart… 

Sam went back to talk to Cas…

Cas: “ive healed his major wounds and slowed the death process… how did she take it…”

Sam: “she has started to drink the whiskey… i dont think she will come back from this…”

Cas: “well lets go make sure she isnt gonna do something stupid…”

Sam & Cas take one more glance at Dean’s body before heading out to the library to find you on the phone just kinda out of their hearing patterns.. it was only but a while later that Crowley texted you that he was outside the bunker…

you went to the door and let him inside… you walked down the stairs with Crowley at your tail… both Sam and Cas stood taking defensive position…

Sam: “Squirt what is he doing here?”

You finished walking down the stairs before you answered…

YN: “he is here to help me save Dean… he says he can save him… ergo that is whats going to happen…”

Cas: “dont do this, we cant trust him…”

Crowley: “look ok i have a soft spot for YN and Dean they have become my new favorite couple… but when word got out downstairs about Metatron having killed Dean. i knew it would be only a matter of time before i got a call from YN, but i also knew i might or might not be able to help.. YN show me where the body is… then ill need a while alone with it… for the way this should go may or may not come with alot of side effects…”

you led Crowley to Dean’s room, opening the door this was your first glance at Deans body… this was the only time other than not but 6 years before when you had lost Dean… to your dismay this time looked much much worse.

YN: “crowley do what you have to… just make sure he comes back to me in one piece…”

Crowley: “ill do my best and let me be the first to say congratulatons!”

you left the room wondering what the hell he meant, but still made your way back to the library… you sat on the couch and waited, waited patiently…

—————————

Crowley stands beside Dean placing the first blade in Dean’s right hand and placing both on his chest. 

Crowley: “listen to me Dean Winchester, what you’re feeling right now, it’s not death. It’s life, a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And by the way your going to be a father, now lets go take a howl at the moon.”

—————————-

something stirred, you felt it, you felt the house shake, the entire bunker shook with a violent power… it wasnt but a few moments later that the power went out in the entire bunker… no sound could be heard but something inside you stirred, something felt new, arisen if you would… 

YN: “Sam, Cas are you guys okay?”

Sam and Cas are at your sides immediately! 

Cas: “i dont know but i cant leave my power isnt working…”

Sam: “YN you looked a little stunned a few moments ago… what did you feel?”

You didnt know how to answer that, it was a very strange feeling but being bonded with Dean made things easier. during hunts and stake outs… but now it felt like something went horribly wrong… crowley did however say that there may be side effects… 

YN: “i think whatever Crowley did worked but i dont feel normal Dean i feel a much darker force… if that is why the power went out then we need to lock this place down… now and we need to prepare for the worst… lock it down nothing gets in and nothing gets out…”

you, Sam and Cas all armed yourselves, going down the halls till the tri-fork in the hall… each of you took a hall… Cas came across nothing he stayed near the armory for a few minutes to make sure Dean wouldnt be able to easily access it if he came that way… Sam made it down his hall way to the garage, but obviously with the security locked down and the power outage the garage wouldnt be a good escape route… 

you went down the bedroom hallway, the emergency red lights going down the hallway made it to your room, checked it once and cleared it of being offended… then sam’s room along with Cas’ room…. 

the room at the end of the hall, the one room where you didnt think anything was wrong… the one room where the closer you got the more anger and pain you felt… before you could fully encrouch on the room, the door flung off its hinges… you ducked into the darkened bathroom… 

Demon!Dean: “Sammy, YN, Castiel! where is everyone to greet the brother who has come back from the dead? YN baby come give daddy a kiss…”

Dean now walking towards the bathroom slowly, now sniffs the air… he suddenly becomes ravenous for the being who holds the smell of pumpkin pie. the closer he got to the bathroom, the stronger the smell got. 

Demon!Dean: “come on out Baby.. i dont want to hurt you, but i will if i have to… come on out baby… dont you want to celebrate with me about our child… oh yes i know all about that… you can thank Crowley for that… now im gonna count to 3 if you dont show yourself by the time i get to 3, im gonna hurt you baby, i dont want to but i will…1…”

you didnt know what to do, so you stood there behind the door and didnt realize that you were starting to sweat badly your gun was slipping… before you could even react your gun fell to the ground…

Demon!Dean: “ah so you want to have a bit of bathroom fun hmm… well daddy brought a fun little tool… now lets play…”

with that Demon!Dean stalked into the bathroom forcefully pulling the door shut as he now stood there with you in the creepy red lighting, he stood there with his pocket knife. 

YN: “please dont do this, you dont want to hurt me i know you dont… for the sake of our child… please… i didnt know about my being pregnant D… im just finding out about this… look ok it tore me up to see your body like that, so i called Crowley… i knew when the power went out that you had come back… but i didnt expec…”

before you could say another word, his hand covered your mouth… he gently yet firmly ran the knife over your skin, he pressed down in certain tender spots, like your forearms, your thighs, your chest, as well as your cheeks. before stopping at your neck to lean in to sniff your aroma.. 

Demon!Dean: “you know babe, i never pictured myself as a father… i just realized i never told you what i did in Hell the first time i died… i tortured people, i tortured souls… these people didnt deserve it, but i didnt care, i liked it… now i think i’ll torture you similar to them…”

at that moment with lightning speed he ran the knife through all your clothes till you were standing in your Bra and panties. this made you shiver since it wasnt the man you fell in love with standing before you doing this to you. 

at that moment you felt the knife he was holding go into your skin on your thigh, you buckled at the pain, yet Demon!Dean just laughed with amusement. he ran his hands over your body, feeling you tense and un-tense beneath his touch. 

Demon!Dean: “i still have enough sense to know not to fuck a pregnant woman… but that doesnt mean i cant make you bleed…”

before he could finish cutting you in a few more places, the sound of your name came ringing through the halls. 

Sam: “cas do you see that?”

Cas looks straight ahead at the door on the floor…

Cas: “does that mean he is back?”

Sam: “yes but he doesnt have the strength normally to kick in these door which are reinforced with iron… he would have to…”

thats when it hit Sam like a sack of bricks… the shocked look on his face now said everything he connected the dots and soon realized that whereever Dean was you would be too…

Sam: “Dean or whatever you call yourself.. show yourself now…”

then he turned to Cas and in a low whisper adressed him.

Sam: “ok Cas go down the hall and hide around the corner as soon as he shows himself ill keep his gaze fixed on me, use your teleportation to get directly behind him… go…”

Cas ran to where Sam said but heard the same not so distant voice Sam soon did…

Demon!Dean: “ill be out in a second brother, im just taking a leak… then ill come out and talk…”

Demon!Dean finished making you bleed some more watching your body slide down the wall, weak from blood loss as he opened the bathroom door and exited…

Demon!Dean: “hey Sammy… come give your big brother a hug…”

Sam started to slowly back up seeing the blood covering Dean’s hands and clothes… 

Sam: “where’s YN?”

Demon!Dean: “i wouldnt know your the first one ive seen…”

Sam: “then whose blood are you covered in?”

Demon!Dean: “i found a family of rats and slaughtered them… why do you look so scared bro?”

Sam: “thats not rats blood is it?”

Demon!Dean could only bring off a dark smile… as he followed Sam down the hall and away from the bathroom… Cas took his opportunity to come out from around the corner and go towards the bathroom… where he found you… he took off his trench coat and laid it over you…

Cas: “what did he do to you?”

YN: “he called it knifeplay… i have no idea why he did this but he needs something… he needs a good angelic exorcism…”

Cas: “what do you have in mind?”

you explained to Cas that first you needed to get into some clean clothes of some kind and clean up some of this blood… Cas went to your room and grabbed one of your satin gowns… 

Cas came back seeing you limping… he helped steady you while you got dressed… then he took your arm with his hand… he smiled lightly and dove deep into steadying you before helping you into the direction that he watched Demon!Dean & Sam go in… 

he made sure you were alright before he took off to get into his position… slowly but steadily you made your way down the hall… to the sound of running footsteps and the sound of something breaking…

Demon!Dean: “Sam come on lets not play these games… why do you hide from your older brother…”

you steadied yourself and held the colt up high…

YN: “Demonic force that resides within Dean Winchester… i address the entity within thee… please dont make me do this…”

Demon!Dean turns to face you slowly after stopping in his tracks…

Demon!Dean: “YN baby i see you have managed to get up off the floor and clean yourself up… darling you really should be more careful with that, since when did i give you permission to touch that gun…”

YN: “you didnt i took it from your hiding place when i got up off the floor… you need to make sure that you pick better hiding spots…”

Demon!Dean: “and you need to make sure not to snoop…”

YN: “dont make me do this…”

you stayed tall and strong keeping the Colt trained on Dean…

Demon!Dean: “now now babe put the gun down… put it down or take your shot…”

you started to slowly put the gun down but then he charged towards you, Cas came out behind Dean and wrapped his arms around him from behind… 

you took your shot, you shot Dean while he was in the arms of Cas, you watched between Cas’ angelic grace and the bullet from the colt the demonic energy that was within Dean now blinked away… now within the eyes of the man before you, blinked between the demonic force within and the Dean you fell in love with.

Cas: “ready YN im gonna keep holding onto him while you enact the final part of your plan… anytime now…”

that was your cue, you tossed the colt in the air running towards the man who stole your heart a thousand times over… you kissed him, he didnt react right away it was about 5 minutes into the kiss that he started to kiss you back…

thats when Cas let go, it made you feel normal to be back in Dean’s embrace… once the kiss broke you took him over to the security station you had set up and showed him all of what happened… 

Dean: “i know that i wasn’t myself but i hurt you, i hurt the one person who means the world to me… i’m so sorry YN… you don’t deserve a guy like me… i’m a worthless piece of shit… to top it all off, we are expecting a baby… we are expecting i don’t know if i’m ready to be a father…”

YN: “i know your gonna do wonderful as a father, and i also know that when i saw you basically dead, it tore me apart, i dipped so far into the whiskey that i almost blacked out, if the power hadnt gone out, i wouldn’t be awake right now…”

Cas and Sam come back into the room making sure that it was safe first… then Sam took it upon himself to hand Dean his jacket, to which made you look with confusion but you didnt make anything of it.

Sam: “good luck buddy…”

you grab 3 glasses & the whiskey, while the charade continues… but wasnt expecting what happened next…

Dean: “dont touch your glass of whiskey yet…. YN there is something i wish to discuss with you first…”

You stared at Dean curiousity swimming in your mind… Dean took a small swig of his whiskey before he continued to speak…

Dean: “YN in all my years together never have i ever been so amazed by anyone. you’re strong, brave, talented, one of the best with a machete ive ever seen, i never would have seen myself being with someone who is as lovely and smart as you… YN i know we have just been through hell and back and both need a really good shower, but will you do me the incredible honor of marrying me and making me the luckiest man alive…”

YN: “yes yes yes…”

thats when Dean opened the ring box out of his jacket and slid the expensive but not expensive ring on your finger… the toasting lasted for 30 minutes before the cuts on your body cloted, and the blood on Dean crusted, but it was about time when you spoke again…

YN: “Dean no offense but you need a shower…”

Dean: “funny darling i could say the exact same thing about you….”

[customerservicephan]

temporarily becoming a schitt's creek blog because i have SO MUCH to say. spoilers ahead. slightly long post, scroll harder :p

thoughts as i binged it these past 2 days:

-i love stevie.

-god this second ep is too much in the best way. david wets the bed and everyone responds to it in such a validating way my rsd was STARVED(which is a good thing). i love when people make mistakes, do "embarassing" things, etc etc things that open up clear signs for rejection/criticism because it really does fight off my rsd's internal monologues.. <3

-i forgot that ted & alexis are actually a cute couple. good for them.

-i too have contemplated a job in flight attendency. then i remember the concept of radiation and responsibility.

-i love stevie. i love her i love her i love her. she reminds me of so many female characters i never liked personality wise, that i've blamed that dislike on misogynistic men not understanding how to write women, except stevie is actually written so well and i love her i love her i love her.

-schitt's creek is genuinely funny and i forgot. Like wtf.

-cults!!! Idk why im excited(true crime brain??) but cults!!

-johnny & patrick having a talk im 😭 their dynamic is adorable.

-alexis :/

-alexis!!! :)

-johnny & stevie being buds 💞💞💞 i FORGOT(again, i know, adhd).

-proud of roland 4 standing up 4 johnny 😤

-i dont think ive mentioned moira once but the way i screamed for her when she got the tennis bracelet!!!!! im so happy for them fuck. its not fair. i binged the whole five seasons for the 1st time last may and now the series is abt to end.. i hate saying goodbye.. and i feel like i already forgot most of the plot hehe. OhmygOD I forgot abt the wedding its the next ep fuck fuck fuck!!!!

-This truly is NOT fair.. I need more gay romances in my entertainment.. this still feels like but a trickle(and yet im incredibly grateful). Grace and Frankie is ending soon too 😭😭😭 I can't lose three gay romances in the span of a year...

-oops, guess im a twylalexis shipper now.

-gay people being happy? is that a thing now? ...I'm sorry to change the subject again but I am now demanding Grace and Frankie(the characters) reaffirm this pt just to make it clear 😤

-Moira's wedding outfit. 💞

-anddddd its over. So many feelings, but very little coherency... I'll be sure to rewatch. I've already talked to my therapist abt this show(she watches it too)... On to Grace and Frankie(and their inevitable romance 😤💞)!

[struggling-bb]

Hello!

My name is Ari! I’ve struggled with weight pretty much my entire life, but I’m determined to lose it in a healthy and good way! The temptation to harm my body is definitely there, but I want to keep my brain strong and growing, so I’m doing my best to keep away from that stuff!

Anyways I’m 16 years old and have been overweight since I was around 5 years old. Never sure why my body latched onto the weight because I’ve always done what other kids do, I played outside everyday, rode my bike a lot, did extracurricular activities like karate, dance, and theatre, however despite all this I’m unfortunately very overweight.

Im 5’8”, so I figured 165 lbs is a good goal weight, my current weight is 197 lbs (actually that’s 10 lbs down from four months ago, really proud of myself!)

During the coronavirus quaratine I wanted to try Alexis Ren’s 10 minute butt and 10 minute ab workout along with cardio of running up the hiking trail in my neighborhood. I’ve seen amazing results with this workout so I’m excited to try it out! I’ll keep you guys updated :)

The diet will be a bit difficult to follow, I can keep away from red meats since I’m vegetarian anyways, I’ll keep away from alcohol since I’m underage, and I can stick to the rule of not eating later than 7 PM (I might extend that deadline to 8 PM instead). Where I find difficultly is keeping away from breads, since we’re in quaratine I can’t leave the house much and I can only eat the food at home (most of which are bread items), so I’ll still have to eat some gluten. Also apparently the diet required to not have fruit after lunch, however, I love fruit! Sometimes for dinner I’ll eat peanut butter with an apple or a banana and I’ll feel very satisfied and full! There’s no way I can keep away from fruits!

The one indulgence I’ll let myself have is a little dark chocolate, most dieticians encourage eating a little if you have cravings, so I won’t completely keep myself away from cravings!

I hope I can make some positive changes to my life style and feel more comfortable in my skin during this journey!

[legion1993]

Please Don’t Make Me Do This

title:  Please Don’t Make Me Do This

kink square filled: Knife Play

dark square filled: Knife Play

Heaven & Hell square filled: Demon!Dean

ship: Demon!Dean x reader

rating: 14+

tags: major character death, forced knife play, 

summery (if applicable): its a surprise….

word count (if applicable):

created for @spnkinkbingo @spndarkbingo @heavenandhellbingo 

also this is for a request brought in by @hawaiianohana15 

A/N: please dont shoot me, but cas doesnt actually stay in heaven for what goes down in this story. im sorry for what im gonna put everyone through. i know for me ive put off writing about this particular thing cause it still gives me nightmares. 

tag: @sweetness47 @alexis-m-kruger

spn kink bingo masterlist  Dark bingo masterlist  heaven and hell masterlist

this was possibly the hardest event of your entire life, the hardest day of your life. the day you witnessed the love of your life get murdered on the eve after your engagement. 

you hadnt the heart to send every single person you had invited a letter saying the wedding was cancelled, hell you didnt have the heart o do anything except sit in your old room and listen to all of Dean’s favorites on repeat. 

after about 4 hours Sam had gotten very very concerned, so he made you some coffee and made you up a plate of food and brought it into your room. the sight he saw when he walked inside was something that made him place the food and drink on your dresser and come engulf you in a huge hug. 

course Dean and Sam wanted to take down Metatron, but of course that didnt go as well as expected for it was then that Metatron stabbed Dean. long story short told to you personally through Sam’s sobs... 

Dean had gotten hold of the first blade again after being bruised and beaten badly in a mortal kombat fight type deal with Metatron.

Metatron stabbing Dean through the heart with an angel blade just as Sam came round the corner and Dean of course turned around. 

Sam helped Dean off the ground and tried to make it out of the warehouse but Dean coughed, said he was proud of them and then breathed his last.

Sam had called out for Cas in a loud scream of pain. about 5 minutes later Cas appeared and became terribly horrified at the sight before him. 

Cas: “what happened?”

Sam: “Metatron killed him, we have to get home.. back to the bunker, to YN she needs to know but no one else can... can you get us and the impala back in one shot or is it needed in 2 trips...”

Cas: “it can be done in 1 shot but how will you tell YN... wont she be crushed?”

that was when Cas realized that Sam was gonna tell you after they got back to the bunker... sam was gonna tell you what happened, tell you that Dean died like  hero... that he went down fighting and that his last thoughts werent of her but he knew he loved you.

Cas: “look Sam i know that YN and Dean were a thing but there is something i have to tell you... about their relationship... but she doesnt know, neither of them did... you can’t tell her...”

Sam now intrigued finds the strength to look away from his brothers corpse. Cas took a deep breath watching as Sam now sat looking at him.

Sam: “cant tell her what?”

Cas: “she and Dean fullfilled the prophecy that Heaven spoke over them, they conceived a child a week before the death of a winchester at the hands of Metatron.”

Sam: “YN’s pregnant?”

Cas: “yes, but there is nothing else that can be done here, lets take this show back to the bunker and see if there is anything that can be done about Dean... ill take us all straight to his room, then ill stay here while you go talk to YN before she finds out on her own about Dean...”

Cas teleports Dean and Sam plus himself back to Deans room in the bunker. you were in the library researching a way to get rid of Metatron that would actually be most effective. you didnt hear the boys talking in Deans room. however you only had this feeling like something wasn’t right. 

it stayed with you heavily as you sat there pouring through the books and every page seemed to make time go by alot slower than it actually was... it wasnt until you flipped the page again that you heard your name being called. this made your head snap up...

you went around the corner and Saw Sam walking towards you... 

Sam: “hey squirt!”

You looked around and didnt see Dean, didnt see your man. you turned your gaze back to Sam who walked closer to you...

YN: “where’s Dean?”

Sam: “YN he was hurt badly... there was an accident, it was a bad one... before i let you see him you need to know he might not come back from this one alive... or if alive he wont be himself... the first blade really did a number on him. but his last concious thoughts were of you... YN he wasnt breathing when Cas got to us... Cas is with him now trying to figure this out, but so far no luck...”

YN: “i have to see his body...”

Sam stepped immediately in front of you stopping your entry to the hallway.

YN: “get out of my way Sam... i have to see his body...”

Sam: “no cause if you go in there your not gonna be able to unsee that...”

YN: “there has to be something we can do...”

Sam: “we will find a way but for now lets leave him alone...”

you went back too the library and cracked a bottle of whiskey... Sam stood around the corner for a few minutes and watched you slowly crumble apart... 

Sam went back to talk to Cas...

Cas: “ive healed his major wounds and slowed the death process... how did she take it...”

Sam: “she has started to drink the whiskey... i dont think she will come back from this...”

Cas: “well lets go make sure she isnt gonna do something stupid...”

Sam & Cas take one more glance at Dean’s body before heading out to the library to find you on the phone just kinda out of their hearing patterns.. it was only but a while later that Crowley texted you that he was outside the bunker...

you went to the door and let him inside... you walked down the stairs with Crowley at your tail... both Sam and Cas stood taking defensive position...

Sam: “Squirt what is he doing here?”

You finished walking down the stairs before you answered...

YN: “he is here to help me save Dean... he says he can save him... ergo that is whats going to happen...”

Cas: “dont do this, we cant trust him...”

Crowley: “look ok i have a soft spot for YN and Dean they have become my new favorite couple... but when word got out downstairs about Metatron having killed Dean. i knew it would be only a matter of time before i got a call from YN, but i also knew i might or might not be able to help.. YN show me where the body is... then ill need a while alone with it... for the way this should go may or may not come with alot of side effects...”

you led Crowley to Dean’s room, opening the door this was your first glance at Deans body... this was the only time other than not but 6 years before when you had lost Dean... to your dismay this time looked much much worse.

YN: “crowley do what you have to... just make sure he comes back to me in one piece...”

Crowley: “ill do my best and let me be the first to say congratulatons!”

you left the room wondering what the hell he meant, but still made your way back to the library... you sat on the couch and waited, waited patiently...

---------------------------

Crowley stands beside Dean placing the first blade in Dean’s right hand and placing both on his chest. 

Crowley: “listen to me Dean Winchester, what you're feeling right now, it's not death. It's life, a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And by the way your going to be a father, now lets go take a howl at the moon.”

----------------------------

something stirred, you felt it, you felt the house shake, the entire bunker shook with a violent power... it wasnt but a few moments later that the power went out in the entire bunker... no sound could be heard but something inside you stirred, something felt new, arisen if you would... 

YN: “Sam, Cas are you guys okay?”

Sam and Cas are at your sides immediately! 

Cas: “i dont know but i cant leave my power isnt working...”

Sam: “YN you looked a little stunned a few moments ago... what did you feel?”

You didnt know how to answer that, it was a very strange feeling but being bonded with Dean made things easier. during hunts and stake outs... but now it felt like something went horribly wrong... crowley did however say that there may be side effects... 

YN: “i think whatever Crowley did worked but i dont feel normal Dean i feel a much darker force... if that is why the power went out then we need to lock this place down... now and we need to prepare for the worst... lock it down nothing gets in and nothing gets out...”

you, Sam and Cas all armed yourselves, going down the halls till the tri-fork in the hall... each of you took a hall... Cas came across nothing he stayed near the armory for a few minutes to make sure Dean wouldnt be able to easily access it if he came that way... Sam made it down his hall way to the garage, but obviously with the security locked down and the power outage the garage wouldnt be a good escape route... 

you went down the bedroom hallway, the emergency red lights going down the hallway made it to your room, checked it once and cleared it of being offended... then sam’s room along with Cas’ room.... 

the room at the end of the hall, the one room where you didnt think anything was wrong... the one room where the closer you got the more anger and pain you felt... before you could fully encrouch on the room, the door flung off its hinges... you ducked into the darkened bathroom... 

Demon!Dean: “Sammy, YN, Castiel! where is everyone to greet the brother who has come back from the dead? YN baby come give daddy a kiss...”

Dean now walking towards the bathroom slowly, now sniffs the air... he suddenly becomes ravenous for the being who holds the smell of pumpkin pie. the closer he got to the bathroom, the stronger the smell got. 

Demon!Dean: “come on out Baby.. i dont want to hurt you, but i will if i have to... come on out baby... dont you want to celebrate with me about our child... oh yes i know all about that... you can thank Crowley for that... now im gonna count to 3 if you dont show yourself by the time i get to 3, im gonna hurt you baby, i dont want to but i will...1...”

you didnt know what to do, so you stood there behind the door and didnt realize that you were starting to sweat badly your gun was slipping... before you could even react your gun fell to the ground...

Demon!Dean: “ah so you want to have a bit of bathroom fun hmm... well daddy brought a fun little tool... now lets play...”

with that Demon!Dean stalked into the bathroom forcefully pulling the door shut as he now stood there with you in the creepy red lighting, he stood there with his pocket knife. 

YN: “please dont do this, you dont want to hurt me i know you dont... for the sake of our child... please... i didnt know about my being pregnant D... im just finding out about this... look ok it tore me up to see your body like that, so i called Crowley... i knew when the power went out that you had come back... but i didnt expec...”

before you could say another word, his hand covered your mouth... he gently yet firmly ran the knife over your skin, he pressed down in certain tender spots, like your forearms, your thighs, your chest, as well as your cheeks. before stopping at your neck to lean in to sniff your aroma.. 

Demon!Dean: “you know babe, i never pictured myself as a father... i just realized i never told you what i did in Hell the first time i died... i tortured people, i tortured souls... these people didnt deserve it, but i didnt care, i liked it... now i think i’ll torture you similar to them...”

at that moment with lightning speed he ran the knife through all your clothes till you were standing in your Bra and panties. this made you shiver since it wasnt the man you fell in love with standing before you doing this to you. 

at that moment you felt the knife he was holding go into your skin on your thigh, you buckled at the pain, yet Demon!Dean just laughed with amusement. he ran his hands over your body, feeling you tense and un-tense beneath his touch. 

Demon!Dean: “i still have enough sense to know not to fuck a pregnant woman... but that doesnt mean i cant make you bleed...”

before he could finish cutting you in a few more places, the sound of your name came ringing through the halls. 

Sam: “cas do you see that?”

Cas looks straight ahead at the door on the floor...

Cas: “does that mean he is back?”

Sam: “yes but he doesnt have the strength normally to kick in these door which are reinforced with iron... he would have to...”

thats when it hit Sam like a sack of bricks... the shocked look on his face now said everything he connected the dots and soon realized that whereever Dean was you would be too...

Sam: “Dean or whatever you call yourself.. show yourself now...”

then he turned to Cas and in a low whisper adressed him.

Sam: “ok Cas go down the hall and hide around the corner as soon as he shows himself ill keep his gaze fixed on me, use your teleportation to get directly behind him... go...”

Cas ran to where Sam said but heard the same not so distant voice Sam soon did...

Demon!Dean: “ill be out in a second brother, im just taking a leak... then ill come out and talk...”

Demon!Dean finished making you bleed some more watching your body slide down the wall, weak from blood loss as he opened the bathroom door and exited...

Demon!Dean: “hey Sammy... come give your big brother a hug...”

Sam started to slowly back up seeing the blood covering Dean’s hands and clothes... 

Sam: “where’s YN?”

Demon!Dean: “i wouldnt know your the first one ive seen...”

Sam: “then whose blood are you covered in?”

Demon!Dean: “i found a family of rats and slaughtered them... why do you look so scared bro?”

Sam: “thats not rats blood is it?”

Demon!Dean could only bring off a dark smile... as he followed Sam down the hall and away from the bathroom... Cas took his opportunity to come out from around the corner and go towards the bathroom... where he found you... he took off his trench coat and laid it over you...

Cas: “what did he do to you?”

YN: “he called it knifeplay... i have no idea why he did this but he needs something... he needs a good angelic exorcism...”

Cas: “what do you have in mind?”

you explained to Cas that first you needed to get into some clean clothes of some kind and clean up some of this blood... Cas went to your room and grabbed one of your satin gowns... 

Cas came back seeing you limping... he helped steady you while you got dressed... then he took your arm with his hand... he smiled lightly and doove deep into steadying you before helping you into the direction that he watched Demon!Dean & Sam go in... 

he made sure you were alright before he took off to get into his position... slowly but steadily you made your way down the hall... to the sound of running footsteps and the sound of something breaking...

Demon!Dean: “Sam come on lets not play these games... why do you hide from your older brother...”

you steadied yourself and held the colt up high...

YN: “Demonic force that resides within Dean Winchester... i address the entity within thee... please dont make me do this...”

Demon!Dean turns to face you slowly after stopping in his tracks...

Demon!Dean: “YN baby i see you have managed to get up off the floor and clean yourself up... darling you really should be more careful with that, since when did i give you permission to touch that gun...”

YN: “you didnt i took it from your hiding place when i got up off the floor... you need to make sure that you pick better hiding spots...”

Demon!Dean: “and you need to make sure not to snoop...”

YN: “dont make me do this...”

you stayed tall and strong keeping the Colt trained on Dean...

Demon!Dean: “now now babe put the gun down... put it down or take your shot...”

you started to slowly put the gun down but then he charged towards you, Cas came out behind Dean and wrapped his arms around him from behind... 

you took your shot, you shot Dean while he was in the arms of Cas, you watched between Cas’ angelic grace and the bullet from the colt the demonic energy that was within Dean now blinked away... now within the eyes of the man before you, blinked between the demonic force within and the Dean you fell in love with.

Cas: “ready YN im gonna keep holding onto him while you enact the final part of your plan... anytime now...”

that was your cue, you tossed the colt in the air running towards the man who stole your heart a thousand times over... you kissed him, he didnt react right away it was about 5 minutes into the kiss that he started to kiss you back...

thats when Cas let go, it made you feel normal to be back in Dean’s embrace... once the kiss broke you took him over to the security station you had set up and showed him all of what happened... 

Dean: “i know that i wasn’t myself but i hurt you, i hurt the one person who means the world to me... i’m so sorry YN... you don’t deserve a guy like me... i’m a worthless piece of shit... to top it all off, we are expecting a baby... we are expecting i don’t know if i’m ready to be a father...”

YN: “i know your gonna do wonderful as a father, and i also know that when i saw you basically dead, it tore me apart, i dipped so far into the whiskey that i almost blacked out, if the power hadnt gone out, i wouldn’t be awake right now...”

Cas and Sam come back into the room making sure that it was safe first... then Sam took it upon himself to hand Dean his jacket, to which made you look with confusion but you didnt make anything of it.

Sam: “good luck buddy...”

you grab 3 glasses & the whiskey, while the charade continues... but wasnt expecting what happened next...

Dean: “dont touch your glass of whiskey yet.... YN there is something i wish to discuss with you first...”

You stared at Dean curiousity swimming in your mind... Dean took a small swig of his whiskey before he continued to speak...

Dean: “YN in all my years together never have i ever been so amazed by anyone. you’re strong, brave, talented, one of the best with a machete ive ever seen, i never would have seen myself being with someone who is as lovely and smart as you... YN i know we have just been through hell and back and both need a really good shower, but will you do me the incredible honor of marrying me and making me the luckiest man alive...”

YN: “yes yes yes...”

thats when Dean opened the ring box out of his jacket and slid the expensive but not expensive ring on your finger... the toasting lasted for 30 minutes before the cuts on your body cloted, and the blood on Dean crusted, but it was about time when you spoke again...

YN: “Dean no offense but you need a shower...”

Dean: “funny darling i could say the exact same thing about you....”

[comeondowntosouthparkrpg-blog]

Alexis “Lexus” Martin

out of character info

Name/Alias: Lindo Pronouns: hhh Age: 24  Join Our Discord: I don’t have a discord :/ Timezone: EST Activity: aaaaaaaaaaa Triggers: heterosexuals Password:jimmy can FAST PASS MY ASS Character that you’re applying for: LEXUS Favourite ships for your character: chemistryyy

in character info

Full name: Alexis “Lexus” Martin Birthday: June 15th Sexuality, gender, pronouns: Bisexual, cis fem, she Age and grade: 18 Appearance: Lexus stands at 5′6″ with curves in all the right places.  Her eyes are bright blue with a ring of green in the middle and her face is peppered with freckles.  Her hair falls to the middle of her shoulder blade, the color of leaves on an autumn day.  She’s fit, given the job she has her body is her main source of employment.  Her nails are always painted some form of fun color, usually acrylic and sharp enough to tear skin.  Despite her petite size, she packs a mean punch and will knock you out if you step out of line.   She has her ears pierced twice and often flaunts a face of makeup and fake lashes-- always wanting to look her absolute best.  Her belly button is pierced, usually showed off when crop tops and hot pants.  Her legs are long, often accentuated with high heels.  To put it simply, Lexus is hot.

Personality: Lexus has always been the “mean girl”.  She won’t hesitate to tear you down or rip you a new one.  She’s the pitbull of the Raisins, ready to throw hands at any time if someone sticks their nose (or hands) where it doesn’t belong.  Despite this, at work she’ll flirt with literally anyone that’s seated at her table-- it’s her job, after all, and tips are always bigger when you sugar coat everything.  Most of her regulars worship the ground she walks on, and if they don’t they fear for their lives because she can and will end them if they misbehave in the restaurant.

When it comes to the other Raisins girls, Lexus is seen as the mother hen or big sister.  She’s incredibly defensive and protective of them while also relentlessly teasing them for their faults.  It’s basically “only she can make fun of them”.  This is most notable with Porsche, whom she mocks for her stupidity constantly, but if someone outside of her clique were to attempt it they’d end up in the ER.

History:  Alexis was born to a a seventeen year old cheerleader and her jock boyfriend.  It was love at first sight-- and the shot gun at the alter was there to make sure of it.  She grew up in a trailer park with an overworked, asshole father and a fleeting debutante mother.  One was always drunk while the other was constantly chasing her youth.  When her father’s job could no longer support the family, her mother took to stripping in an attempt to make ends meet.  

This had an impact on Lexus, whom constantly saw the worth of her mother’s beauty over all else.  Eventually, her deadbeat dad went out for a drink with the boys and never came, setting the two back and forcing their financial status to once again drop.  When Raisins opened in the fourth grade, Lexus was one of the first to apply.  She saw how her family’s struggle lessened with her mother’s new career and figured her new job would do nothing but aid them. 

She was pretty, for a kid, and thus was able to gain quite the reputation.  Most of her money went to helping her mother whom didn’t seem to see any problem in her 8 year old daughter working at what was essentially a children’s Hooters.  With the morality out of the way, the two girls managed to support themselves throughout Alexis’s childhood.  When she finally hit the age of legality, it was a no brainer that she sought a part time position at her mother’s strip bar where the cash really came in.  Of course, her loyalty to Raisins and her girls wouldn’t let her entirely quit, so she still has a few shifts at the restaurant.

Sample paragraph: Neon lights flash back and forth, accenting her darkened silhouette as her body is spun around the pole one last time.  The song comes to an end, someone calls her off and she takes a moment to collect her bills off the stage and exit.  It’s 2am-- the club is closing down and the last few patreons are being escorted out on wobbly legs and shoved less than gracefully into awaiting cabs.  Delicately manicured fingers grab at a nearby rag, wiping any remaining sweat from her body before tugging on a big pull-over sweater and pair of shorts.

Her feet sing a chorus from the angels as her stilettos are tugged off, replaced with comfy socks and converse.  She checks her makeup in the mirror as she passes, smudging away a stray eyeliner wing and pulling her ginger locks into a loose bun.  A sigh leaves her bright red lips, stray bills being shoved into her purse as she leaves from behind the stage and towards the back entrance.  Lexus passes a few of her coworkers, giving them loving goodbyes and patting one of the bodyguards on the shoulder in a silent “good job”.  She doesn’t need his help, and he knows, but her appreciation is still expressed regardless.

The redhead exists the building, shivering slightly at the harsh Colorado air and she makes a beeline for her car.  The vehicle springs to life with a click of a button and the redhead slips into the driver seat and immediately pulls out of the parking lot.  It takes off down the street, only stopping to retrieve a bottle of liquor and a pack of smokes from a gas station.  She’s not old enough to legally buy, but her and her mother are so well known by most of the staff that the look the other way when she comes to pick up her mother’s “medicine”.  Items in hand, Lexus continues the drive back to the trailer park and enters through the front door with a “I’m home Mama.  I got somethin’ for you,” before the door is shut behind her and she’s finally separated from the world for the night. Headcanons: 

She carries a bat in her backseat and a pistol in her purse

She’ll kick your ass

She’s the group mother, very protective of her girls

Lexus is afraid of bugs and WILL scream if she sees one before smashing it to death

She has never had a girlfriend or boyfriend simply because they’re too much work

She doesn’t really believe in love, except for the love she has for her mother.

Lexus is NOT ashamed of her careers and is actually very proud of her body.  She believes it’s empowering and that she basically owns every man in South Park because of it

Anything else: hmmmmm im gay